Gatherings: Twenty-Eight Adab for a Blessed Assembly

People are rarely apart from a gathering: sitting with kin and friends, learning what benefits them, or discussing an affair of faith or of life. And because assemblies hold such a place, Islam gave them adab that preserve their blessing, so that those who sit do not rise from them in regret on the Day of Resurrection.

It is noted that gatherings have a comprehensive set of adab, gathered and arranged into twenty-eight. We present them here as they were ordered, phrased briefly to bring them close to you:

They were gathered and ordered in this way, and we have kept that order as it stands:

1. Do not attend a gathering that holds wrongdoing. One who sits silent shares in the sin, unless he comes intending to change it.
2. A sincere intention. Intend by your sitting to honour a guest, advise your family, strengthen brotherhood, or learn.
3. Sit only with the righteous. From them you gain good and grow in faith.
4. Avoid a gathering that holds your adversaries. To ward off dispute and enmity, unless it is a gathering of reconciliation.
5. Avoid sitting in the roadways. If you must, give the road its due: lower the gaze, restrain harm, return greetings, and enjoin good.
6. Sit in a circle and do not scatter. So that those seated face one another.
7. Greet those seated upon entering. It reassures them and increases love among them.
8. Sit in the widest place you can find. If none, sit behind those already seated.
9. Widen the gathering and make room. This draws affection and shows respect.
10. Do not part two who sit together without their leave. For that may harm them.
11. Do not make anyone rise from his seat to take it yourself. For it harms him and sows resentment.
12. Do not sit in the middle of the circle. For it blocks people from seeing one another.
13. Sit with adab, humility, and calm. Leaving arrogance out of how you sit.
14. Avoid any posture that might expose the body. In safeguarding of modesty.
15. Do not lean back on your left hand while sitting. For this manner of sitting was firmly discouraged.
16. Do not sit in the seat of Satan. Which is to sit between sun and shade, part of you in each.
17. Avoid forbidden private conversation. Two should not confer apart from a third, lest it sadden him.
18. Do not try to overhear others' talk. When they would dislike it.
19. Keep away from gathering upon what angers Allah. Such as backbiting, tale-carrying, and foul speech.
20. Be keen on remembrance of Allah and prayer upon the Prophet ﷺ. For it is the best with which assemblies are filled.
21. Leave off argument and quarrelling. Even when in the right, for wrangling embitters hearts.
22. Do not laugh excessively. For much laughter deadens the heart.
23. Whoever leaves his seat and returns has the greater right to it. In keeping of order and goodwill.
24. Seek forgiveness often during the gathering. For it renews one's mindfulness of his Lord.
25. Give greetings when you wish to depart. The greeting of entry is no more due than the greeting of leaving.
26. Whoever passes by a gathering should greet them. The one walking greets the one seated.
27. Greet those seated even if non-Muslims are among them. In honour and precedence for the people of Islam.
28. The expiation of the gathering upon rising and parting. It is the finest close for a good assembly.

The first thing a good gathering is built upon is choosing well whom you sit with; a righteous companion passes his good to you, and a bad one passes his harm. The Prophet ﷺ gave for this an unforgettable likeness:

Among the loveliest things that plant affection in a gathering is that those seated make room for whoever arrives, and that none begrudge a hand's breadth of his place. This is an adab the Noble Qur'an itself set down:

In this same meaning the Prophet ﷺ forbade that a man make another rise from his seat to take it, and guided instead to widening the gathering, guarding hearts against anything coming between brothers.

A Muslim opens his gathering with greetings and closes it with greetings; he arrives among his brothers with a salutation that reassures them, and departs from them with one no less due:

Spreading the greeting in this way increases the bonds of love among those seated and keeps the gathering in its grace.

Because gatherings are seldom free of a slip or a lapse, Islam gave them an expiation with which to seal the assembly, purifying it of whatever those seated may have fallen into:

This is the last of the adab of assemblies gathered here: twenty-eight adab that begin with choosing the place and the company, and end with a remembrance that makes the close wholesome.

Just as one sits and rises with grace, one invites to his gathering with grace; a gracious invitation is the first thing your guest is received with, and by it he is at ease about the time and place before he arrives. In invi2 you craft a radiant invitation worthy of your gathering and reach your guests through a single WhatsApp link, following their RSVPs from the first, so your honouring of them begins before they knock at the door, and your assembly comes together in good and in order.